Biology with a bit of Chemistry
by bays1
Summary: It was amazing how someone could make photosynthesis sound so unbelievable sexy.-Bella isn't talking about Edward.Then who? And why? Bella/Mr. Banner.You read that correctly.Humour, don't worry.I think. I blame this story on the actions of one JasperCulle


**Disclaimer: I own nothing...and this story may disturb you..forever...**

**Bella's POV**

I was absolutely transfixed. It was funny how I had never noticed before just how his sparkling eyes lit up when he was asked a question. How could I have never seen that cheerful bounce he gained in his step when he finally got Mike Newton to understand what he was talking about.

Mr. Banner was just so manly! No high school boys stood a chance against him. Although the sweat patches were a small worry but nothing deodorant wouldn't fix. And besides, it showed his humanness, his normalcy. Unlike Edward, who never tripped or sweated or got an answer wrong. Edward was so god-like it put my own existence to shame. I never could feel I deserved to be loved by him.

But Mr. Banner. Oh, Mr. Banner was at my level. He understood what it was like to drop a whole tray of beakers in front of the class and from what I could tell by the food plastered in his moustache, he fully understood my desires to savour the taste of a delectable block of chocolate. Most of all, he was aging unlike other devilishly good looking people.

The way his lips softly curved in explanation was driving me wild. I was aware of his every word and the slightest of movement he made. I could feel the frown of Edward's stare as he pondered my hypnotised state but I didn't care, I only had eyes for one man now.

It was amazing how someone could make photosynthesis sound so unbelievable sexy. I already knew most of the things he was saying but all of it seems so much more interesting when he said it. The rustle of papers in front of me momentarily distracted me. A small pile of worksheets had been unceremoniously tossed in front of me by Edward who was looking exceedingly frustrated. Even with a scowl on his face he looked angelic. It wasn't fair.

I took a sheet of paper and passed the pile onto Mike while reading through my own sheet. A quick scan revealed the questions were fairly simple but I still raised my hand to inform my fascinating teacher that I just couldn't understand what I was being asked. Edward growled softly beside me. A small note landed in front on top of my work. I swept it away remorselessly.

"Mr. Banner?" He looked up from the newspaper he had been reading. My whole being began to flutter as his age wizened eyes bore into mine.

"Yes Miss Swan?" I almost swooned right then and there. No one had ever said my name like that before. Such amazement with a hint of worried curiosity. It was natural for him to wonder what I needed, after all, I was one of his best students and never needed help. He half-heartedly rose out of his seat to come closer. He would have to, to hear me better but he seemed hesitant to reduce our proximity. Maybe he's the love at afar type? Or it could be my pouting was a little too much.

I stubbornly refused to let him know my thoughts until he slowly began to edge closer. "I don't understand this question. Can you explain it for me?" His forehead wrinkled in concentration as he studied the question I had randomly pointed to. It was a Kodak moment and I didn't have a camera. When Mr. Banner chuckled a deep throaty laugh reminiscent of a frog, a longing sigh escaped my lips before I even realised. It was perfectly imperfect. Edward echoed my sigh. I had almost forgotten about that obstacle but he will understand. Hopefully.

"I believe that it is asking your name." Mr. Banner informed me with a large grin when his laughing had subsided. My cheeks coloured a deep crimson at being made a fool of in front of the one I hoped to impress. I needed to change the subject quickly before he realised that he may be too good for me. But what to say? The weather is a safe topic but too bland and usually always wet. In Forks, it's best to talk about anything but the weather

"Have you ever been on a date at the Italian Restaurant in Port Angeles?" Anything but that. Discussing past relationships in the beginning of a new one is not good. Why didn't my mother ever warn me not to blurt out the first thing that comes to mind?

"Yes. I go out quite often,"

"Oh." He dates often? Well, what did I expect? The man is a good catch. I have competition, not what I need. However, Charlie always says 'The second mouse gets the cheese'. In this situation, I hope that applies. Edward was probably the only one that could hear it but I could feel my heart increase to record speeds. Here goes nothing. "Would you like to go with me?"

Mike yelped loudly and sprang out of his chair like it was poisoned. Jessica Stanley's mouthful of water was dripping down the back of his t-shirt and all through his dishevelled hair. The girl herself was openly gawking at me. Her mouth gaped continually open and shut like a goldfish, tempting any flies that may be around.

Then the shocked and yet amused laughter started.

I looked innocently back at Mr. Banner, whose eyes had opened so wide and whole body had gone so rigid that he looked like a very gorgeous deer caught in headlights. I shrugged my shoulders nonchalantly at the class's reaction and gave my love a reassuring smile. Things would work out. Mr. Banner started all of a sudden. It was almost as if life had been jolted back into him at overdrive. He sputtered and formed many incoherent responses to my question. He was just so excited about our date.

The class kept laughing and Edward growled dangerously at their thoughts. Mr. Banner tried to quiet them but in his flustered state there was nothing he could do. How could they understand? Society wasn't prepared for it but I knew he understood that true love doesn't have an age restraint.

I kept my eyes glued to his form as Edward possessively tugged me out of the classroom. _He_ watched us leave. Over all the giggling, his voice stood out to me. He was calling us back and for order. Edward had the audacity to ignore him. I managed to give him one last heartfelt smile before I was towed out the door and silently mouthed "Call Me!" At my last glance I could have sworn I saw him masculinely mouth back. "I will."

Edward was muttering to himself. I was too preoccupied with my daydreams but occasionally they would be interrupted by random growlings of "Kill…Jasper….Make Bella...love…Banner…dead."

Just wait till I tell the other Cullens about my score. Boy, will they be jealous.

**A/N Review and let me know what you think. (Which is probably somewhere along the lines of "What the...") I was hit by this vicious plot bunny while reading Abba song titles as random as that is. They have one song called I kissed the teacher or something like that and while there was no way I could ever let Bella do that, I still wrote this! I hope you liked it and had a little giggle if not...glares I mean... Smiles Nonchalantly XD **

**If you have read this before, you may have noticed I changed the ending to something that makes a little more sense haha. I can't believe I didn't think of Jasper before!**

**bays1**

P.S I issue a challenge to all Twilight fanfic writers to follow my lead and write a completely weird and random pairing (Cross overs included). Leave a review if you do so I can check it out hehehe


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